Christians, is it a sin not to go to a funeral?
My mom says that attending funerals and singing is a way to serve God and please Him. I told her that not going to a funeral isn’t a sin, but she insists that we are supposed to help people in their time of need, which makes it a sin if I don’t attend. She believes I need to be a worker for God, but I’m not even Christian. For several years, I was led to believe I was a Christian, but I’ve come to realize that I am not. I feel like I was misled. I always sensed something was off because I never experienced the joy and love for Jesus or had a desire to read the Bible. I wanted to indulge in my own desires rather than follow what I thought God wanted. I was told I was a Christian because I repented of my sins, but I now understand that it’s more than just saying sorry. One must genuinely feel remorse for their sins and recognize that they have sinned against God. I never felt that guilt; I only repented out of fear of going to hell, not because I felt I had committed a significant sin against God. At that time, I didn’t care. I don’t even remember a moment of being saved or feeling a change in my life. I want to do drugs and get drunk. I am not a Christian. Anyway, back to the main question: Is it a sin not to go to a funeral?
5 Answers
No. It’s not a sin. Though it is an opportunity to be there for friends and loved ones in their time of need. You’re really there for them, not for the dead person. He or she won’t be there any more. If the idea of being near a dead body is too much for you, you can visit in one of the other rooms at the funeral home. They normally have more than one. It’s what I usually do, actually.
You’re right in some important ways. Also, faith is not something that happens because a parent demands or forces. That’s something else, an kind of tyranny.
A parent can be a tyrant, and then imagine that when a child rebels against the unfairness in their tyranny that this is wrongness the child is doing, when it is instead at root the child trying to own their own self-responsibility level, as according to their current maturity level.
Children are still in the age of innocence at age 6, age 8…..so they don’t need to repent to God. They are not like someone 15 yrs old or 20 yrs old who may have actually committed conscious harm to others when they have true choice by virtue of maturity of will.
A tyrant parent makes a person feel like rebelling strongly enough to become independent. Drinking or other risky actions can feel like independence, but they aren’t. When you rebel by doing the opposite, you are controlled in that the opposite depends on their tyranny. To be *really independent* you do your own thing, which isn’t the opposite of them, but something else entirely. It isn’t drinking, but something no one else can even say what it is. It’s the real you.
Here’s the good part — the Reality out there is *independent* of every mistake and wrongness in your parent, who is only human, often wrong.
Reality is independent of those human flaws. It’s a different thing than the errors you hear some assert. God would be something far more amazing, and transcendent, and subtle, then that tyrant style of parenting so many rightly rebel against.
About the funeral — that should be your choice, but you might get forced to go because you are not yet out on your own. What is and is not sin is very perfectly specified by Christ in: “So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you” [including to God]. People in jobs do sometimes have to maintain an appearance that is demanded of them also in some situations, in addition to the work, so it’s a part of life for a lot of people to do something they’d rather not have to do. I tried myself to just think my own thoughts during these kinds of things, so that even if I was there physically, my mind could be elsewhere.
Finally, all parents can be tyrants at times, and it’s hard to learn what level of independence your child has, and parents are usually a little behind the curve on that until they learn who you have become, so you can look back later and forgive the parent for being slow, because that is what happens.
Christians, is it a sin not to go to a funeral?
Not a sin per se – but it’s generally considered bad form not to show up – especially if it’s your own funeral!
Hope this helps
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