how many calories are in a booger?

The amount of calories in your booger is so low that you actually burn off the same amount or more by moving your hand from your nose to your mouth.

Therefore, it makes sense to keep picking and eating your boogers because this will cause you to lose weight. Just pick your boogers 3 times a week for 20 minutes a day and watch the extra pounds gradually, over time, disappear! For just 3 easy payments of 29.99 plus shipping and handling fees, you can get my new bestselling weight loss book called The Booger Eater's Guide to Gradual Weight Loss.

*possible side effects to this diet include a deviated septum, nub-fingers, and explosive nosebleeds.

I eat my boogers all the time, too. I'm pretty sure that since the boogers are excreted from your body, the caloric exchange is negligible. Think of it like this: You eat food, which your body uses to run all the systems of the body, including the production of boogers. You then take the booger and eat it. So, if you ate nothing but your own boogers, you would eventually starve to death.

Ergo, it's an excellent dieting plan.

Also, when you have a runny nose and then wait for it to dry up, those are the best boogers. It's like the almost crunchy, nice and sticky consistency. Mmmmm.

Incidentally, the same should hold true of any bodily production you consume. Fingernails, for example. But don't do that; it's DISGUSTING.

EDIT: Don't forget that your boogers exist to trap foreign bodies to prevent them from entering your lungs. Thus, when you eat your boogers, you may be ingesting bacteria that otherwise would never make it inside. Also, anything you can smell is a particle from the thing you're smelling. So if you pick your nose after you leave a smelly bathroom, you've just consumed tiny particles of someone else's pee/poop. Happy eating!

Completely dependent on three variables - size, colour, and solubility in water. The first is easy - is it a honker or a dry flake? The second is also quite easy - yellow is the lowest in calories, then green, brown, and blue. Red just means you're bleeding inside your nose from too much scrounging for goodies. Solubility in water is the hardest part - it requires 1 L of water and one booger. First, find the mass of the booger. Then, drop the booger into the water, and time how long it takes for the booger to dissolve. Find the number of moles of booger you have, and graph it against 1/time measured. Use linear regression to find the slope of the line, and that is the your number, to be multiplied by your results in size and colour. Enjoy!

6 Bajillion Manillion Cals

Never mind calories, I'm sure there's all sorts of substances in there if you are addicted. There's probably be more calories if you eat it from somebody else's nose. You probably need to go to rehab and get your nose cleaned.

And it's "addictive", not "addicting".

I am disturbed that you are purchasing rolls of boogers. Most can be acquired free from the booger suckers given to infants, rather than acquiring rolls.

As my boogers are usually crusted with the multiple ecstasy pills/line of cocaine I did the night before, the calorie increase is negligible because I dance the night away. So, eating boogers actually helps me lose weight (and the respect of me peers).

1

100 calories per serving.

I think I just threw up a little.

But really, boogers are made of dirt and dust that your nose traps to keep from going inside of your body.

You aren't supposed to eat it!! D: