Should you be alarmed if your spouse sticks up for their ex when they are a poor parent?

Question

Should you be alarmed if your spouse takes up for their ex if they are a poor parent to their kids? For example they don’t spend much time with their kids and always try to get out of parenting after a couple of hours of being around their kids by saying the kids are acting up and they don’t want to deal with it, they don’t feel, well are busy, have other things to do etc. yet your spouse sucks up for them and gets annoyed when you call them out for being a crappy parent.

Lavinia Carroll · Accepted Answer

Avoid women with kids like the plague. Theres nothing good for you in these relationships.

Lavinia Carroll · Answer

Another reason I don’t date women who have kids. They always take up for the loser they had kids with. You see the thing is nine times out of ten these women choose to have children with a subpar manchild then expect a decent man to “man up” and raise these kids who aren’t even his. They are usually way harder on this guy than baby daddy and have the attitude this decent man should be grateful to be raising these kids, putting up with baby daddy bs, and also be grateful to baby daddy. They also are expected to put up with the kids poor behavior but cannot parent the way they want to because “its not their kid” but will gladly take this decent mans time money energy and resources meanwhile giving him no respect, gratitude or input. And these women wonder why I dont date them. Their view on life and attitude is backwards and they dont get it, probably never will until they are old and alone. I dont mind financially helping out the woman I am with or paying more than my share but Im not raising another mans kids just to be shown no appreciation and to be constantly reminded how great baby daddy is. He ain’t or he’d be a better father. He aint or he’d still be with you and not abandoned you. He aint great and neither are you.

Lavinia Carroll · Answer

She should go back to baby daddy and have that loser raise their kids. She doesnt deserve a good guy who parents accordingly.

Lavinia Carroll · Answer

You are poisoning the pot. Not all opinions need to be voiced. There is absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever for a parent to not accept their spouse bad-rapping the other parent of their child. It’s not alarming… it’s CORRECT behavior. So stop bad rapping the other parent of your stepchild. I’ve been a stepparent for 30 years. Not all opinions need be shared.

Lavinia Carroll · Answer

No,you should not be alarmed.

Lavinia Carroll · Answer

if you are married to this person, I would say that she married too soon because she forgot to get over the old relationship first

Lavinia Carroll · Answer

A good parent never berates the children’s other parents. … not to his/her face, not to the kids… and if they re really mature they don’t waste their time berating the spouse to anyone. Talking about other’s faults is a waste of time. I would not date a man that wanted to trash talk to or about my children’s father.

Lavinia Carroll · Answer

NO because its not your place to call them a crappy parent. Your place is by your spouses side & assisting him/her with the kids. If your spouse is okay with the other parents parenting then you should be okay with it too. Only when the kids are in danger should you speak up & not to bash the other parent but to prompt action from your spouse in assuring kids are removed from that situation.

Alize Kuhn

Should you be alarmed if your spouse sticks up for their ex when they are a poor parent?

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