Here are the ones ive heard. I dont think its too early to have jokes, probably just to early for americans to hear them. A lot of these are a bit over the top though. Mostly they are just modified jokes, and some of them are just inserting the pentagon for a laugh.(Remember, its a question people, not an opinion page. If you dont know the jokes, you shouldnt have responded)What does WTC stand for? – “What Trade Center?”Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world? A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds Q: Why do tourists flock to New York? A: It’s a blastThe FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers: Dale Earnhardt.At the World Trade Center restaurant, they offered three seating areas: smoking, non-smoking and burned beyond recognition.They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC: they have found 5000 extra pairs of hands…New York, New York, so good they hit it twiceAmerican Airlines is now offering sight seeing tours of Manhattan!Q: What is world most efficient airline? A: American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15…be in your office in New York 8:48!What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones head sitting in 90th floor of the WTC ?– The 91st floor…..What was the last thing going through Mr. Smiths head sitting in 110th floor of the WTC? – The radio mast…America’s new math: Q: Now how many sides to a Pentagon? A: 4If one side of the Pentagon has collapsed, will it now be renamed “The Square”?It should be renamed “The Penta-gone”It should be renamed “Manflatten”Famous last words: “Amal, was this tower here yesterday?”American Airline’s pilot announcement: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be landing on New York in about 10 minutes…..”Well, this proves one thing…. New Yorkers really come together in a crunchToday FBI concluded that New York had been hit by a U.F.M (unidentified flying muslim) Q: What did one terrorist say to the other terrorist before boarding their respective airplanes? A: I slam, you slam, we all slam for Islam!NEWSFLASH…. The WTC has been destroyed…. thousands of New York executives feared dead…. Hookers all across the city are in mourning…..“25,000 sq. ft. Office space for rent. Recently renovated. New Air Conditioning unit. Needs TLC. Contact me at One World Trade Centre. 85th Floor, Room 18.”“It’s a bird!” “It’s a plane!” “It’s…. Oh ****, it IS a plane!”Q: What do you call a dust storm? A: Trade winds.Q: What’s the area code of the World Trade Center? A: 220 (two to zero).Q: What should have tipped off the ticket sellers? A: When the terrorists asked if there was anything cheaper than one-way.Q: What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center?A: Ten seconds flat. Q: How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up? A: The rest of your lifeQ: Why are police and firemen New York’s finest? A: Because now you can run them through a sieve.Optimism, as you fall past the 20th floor you shout “I’m not hurt yet”How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb? God knows, they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hotWhat’s the number one drink served on United Airlines? Flaming ManhattanWhat music do they play in the elevator in the WTC? Jump and It’s Raining MenFloor 106…… you ARE the weakest link…. goodbye….What color were the pilots eyes? Blue. One blew this way the other blew that wayWhat team does a United Airlines pilot support? The New York JetsWhere do Americans go on vacation? All over ManhattanHow many Americans died in the WTC yesterday? Who gives a ****What’s the difference between Wembley and New York? Wembley’s still got their twin towers.What’s the difference between the attack on New York and the Oklahoma City Bombing? – Again foreigners prove they can do it better and more efficiently……Then there’s the retarded terrorist who tried to crash the A-Train into the World Trade Center……….Yassar Arraffat and many other PLO members together with people from other Muslim nations are *Volunteering* to give blood for the victims of the tragedy… I guess they’ll have some *Volunteers* to Fly the blood in too!Last words from Airline pilot “Right a bit, hey the trade centre, my brother works there…lets look just a bit closer….”The FBI have arrested the head of advertising at the Empire State Building for involvement in the WTC disaster. A spokesman said he was caught with ‘Empire State: We’re Back!!!’ T-shirts in his office…Top 10 Good Things About The WTC Attack10. There are now 18 fewer Arab taxi drivers terrorizing the streets.9. Flight training schools proved that they are expensive but worth it.8. People are learning how to spell “Afghanistan” correctly.7. Plenty of parking available at airports now.6. Jerry Springer Show was off the air for a whole week.5. Sales for U.S. flags are way up.4. Several new job openings now at NYPD and NYFD.3. Much lower electric bills for Manhattan.2. Home videos of the WTC attack more spectacular than Arnold Schwarzenegger’s last 5 movies.And the number one …1. Some great new unobstructed views of Manhattan now.LIGHT BULB JOKESQ: How many American Airlines Flight 77 passengers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Apparently, we will never know since they crashed at 400 mph into a five-sided reinforced bunker and were instantaneously vaporized. Burning puddles of human remains aren’t very good at replacing lighting fixtures.Q: How many Washington DC Firemen does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One living fireman and the ghostly apparitions of hundreds of the dead firemen that were crushed under the World Trade Center.“Knock-Knock!”“Who’s there?”“Anita!”“Anita who?”“Anita bang my head against the wall and wonder how the world outside my window looks the same, but know in my heart it’s a different place. Or is it? Hasn’t this evil always lurked deep within the hearts of men? Who are we to think we were immune to suffering? Anita take a look within myself.”“I think I’ll go knock on someone else’s door.”“You do that.”WALKING INTO A BARA firefighter, a rabbi, and a civilian Army employee walk into a DC Area bar covered in ash. The bartender takes on look at this motley crew and says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”The civilian Army employee says, “Are you an idiot? Didn’t you hear a jet slammed into the side of the Pentagon?”“I just wanted a beer to drown the numbness after working all day in hell, not put up with this ****,” said the firefighter, “Let’s go somewhere else.”The rabbi throws up his hands. “Oi! Why does this happen to me every time I want to go get a drink?”A guy walks into a bar and says, “Can I have a glass of water, please?”The bartender says, “Just drinking water?”The guy answers, “If you got what I got, you’d be drinking water too.”The bartender looks him over puzzled and asks, “What’ve you got?”The guy answers, “The sinking feeling that life is a hollow experience punctuated by brief episodes of joy and sadness followed by an eternal emptiness.”The bartender nods his head, pushes the water over to the guy and says, “I thought you were going to tell me that you only had 17 cents or something equally as stupid.”The guy looks up and says, “Yeah- that too.”The bartender looks away and nervously wipes down the bar....
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