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Are stay-at-home dads losers?

Is the concept of stay-at-home dads perceived negatively? What happened to the traditional model where women primarily stayed home with the children? Do these fathers feel inadequate for not participating in the workforce while they manage household duties and childcare? I believe fathers should certainly be involved in their children's lives, but shouldn't they also be the ones contributing financially? It seems that staying at home to take care of children, attend playdates, and go to music classes is seen as less legitimate than traditional work. What are your thoughts on this dynamic?

10 Answers

No, by all means no. There is such a thing as role reversal. I see it all the time in the military. Many times a dual-military couple will have children and the husband gets out while the wife stays in the military. Why would it be wrong for dads to care for children in the home? It isn't wrong for moms to work. Don't discount that many couples find that this is the most effective way to manage their families. Update yourself to the present and stop living in the past!

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Anonymous

Feb 06, 2025

No. You are not a loser or a failure. You are just experiencing feelings that are normal. Men have been socialized from the beginning that they are the "bread winners" and responsible for providing for their families, and if they don't then there is something wrong with them. Now, though times have changed and more women are taking over that role, it does not diminish what you are doing by being a stay at home dad because what you are doing is every bit as important as getting out and working...maybe moreso because you don't miss out anything new with your children. Hang in there and know this is the place where you are supposed to be right now and just enjoy the time with your kids. Best of luck

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Anonymous

Feb 04, 2025

Society has always dictated that being a stay at home Mom (or Dad) is a weak, non-paying job that has no glory or deserves no respect. Yea, it USED to be that Mom stayed home, etc. But the world has changed so much with respect to who should stay home with the kids. It's not so odd to have the woman as the "bread winner". There are more working, professional women in the world these days than there were 40 yrs ago.

With that in mind, I think that if women have crossed over into the professional / working field, why can't men cross over into the family-raising role? I think that if more men played larger role in rasing their kids, the opinion of stay-at-home Dads (and Moms) would change drastically. It's not as easy as people think, and even though you are not the one bringing home the bacon, there is a payoff much larger than any paycheck anyone could bring home. You have played an important role in raising your kids. Does that make you a "loser"? I think not.

P.S. Just for reference: I am married and I do not have kids. I do bring home a larger paycheck, and if I ever had kids, we would be in the same situation as you are. There is no shame in wanting to be a stay at home parent. It's the hardest job you could ever have. Everything you do and say has permanent repercussions.

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Sienna Maggio

Feb 14, 2025

No...There are some relationships in which it is a mutual decision for the dad to stay home and the woman to work. After all if the woman can make more money than the man why should the family suffer just because a guy has too big of an ego to accept that his wife can make more than him. Plus sometimes the man may simply be better at raising the kids than the mother is so it is in the best interest of the kis that the roles are reversed. It is only those guys that stay home because they are too lazy to work and aren't taking care of their families when they need them too that are loosers.

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Anonymous

Jan 22, 2025

That is up to each person to decide. Personally I would feel like a loser and less than a man if I were ever a stay at dad for anything other than a temporary period of time. However I have given up on finding a love and marriage all together so its not something I have to worry about.

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Anonymous

Dec 31, 2024

I think a stay home dad is great! So many households have both parents working and someone else taking care of the kids so if the mom or dad get to stay home then it's worth having children.

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Anonymous

Feb 03, 2025

Only LOSERS thinks that Stay-At-Home Dad are losers. lol

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Anonymous

Feb 17, 2025

you do have a point. it is a woman's forte. a lot of women may not like what i am going to say. but this is purely my opinion and i enjoyed ebing like that. and no regrets at all it the woman who should stay back home and not the dad. I feel that a mom is more wise and patient and perfect in this aspect. in the country i live, a stay at home dad would always call up his wife at work to take advise during a crisis at home with the baby. but the woman would hardly want to take advise form hubby at work regarding the crisis with baby. i had a high flying job when i had my daughter. my husband left the choice to me. but i preferred to stay home so i quit working. today i am a proud mama to a beautiful daughter and of course people appreciate me for all that my 5 year old does.

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Jan 30, 2025

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Anonymous

Jan 04, 2025

I see your point, but I think it depends on the individual situation. If the dad is continuing education, out of work temporarily, ect. then I think it's o.k. But I do see a slight problem with a guy having a burning desire to be a stay at home parent. He will never be fully respected by his family. I know some people will have a problem with my answer, but I can tell you this drawn from my own past experience. The children need a parental figure around as much as possible, and woman are nurturing in nature for a reason! Not saying women shouldn't work, just think its better for the welfare of the family. There is a reason men can't breast feed.

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