My children have severe appearance deficits and I feel trapped, what are my options?

Question

My ten year old girl is overweight, and doesn't have very attractive physical features. Shes lazy and my wife spoils her rotten, all she does is lay on her bed watching Lifetime.. My nine year old boy Dylan is also overweight, he has braces and wears glasses, and his appearance is repulsive. All he does is sit on his computer playing video games, watch TV, and stuff food down his trap all day. The two don't get along well and Dylan is always teasing Amber and having temper tantrums.When I married my wife I had so many dreams for the future and thought I was making the best decision. Lately I have been rethinking all of the decisions I made and the broken dreams I had and have been contemplating leaving her and the kids.What would you do? What should I do? I feel like I'm trapped with two ugly spoiled children and an annoying wife who doesn't value my advice for the kids.

Rose Schowalter · Accepted Answer

just leave them.. its obvious the kids are going to be fat spoiled dependents that will probably never leave the house... and your wife sounds like one of these stay at home moms that wants to spoil the kids with your hard earned money.. i wouldn't stay thats for sure, you will probably be doing them good by leaving.. she will have to get a job, then wont spoil the kids and they will lose weight and not like staying at home as much and then they will be independent and leave..

Rose Schowalter · Answer

First of all stop referring to them as having "severe appearance deficit" and call the kids what they are: Ugly. You've already described them as lazy and this is good.Next? Dump the wife but first hire a lawyer first and get her accused of child endangerment. Exaggerate your accusations so the bbitch doesn't hit you with false accusations. You gotta expect your lazy ungrateful dumb *** bbitch of a wife to get herself a greedy ruthless lawyer. So don't tip your hand by telling her anything until you've seen an attorney and he's planned a course of action.Overall? You need a plan., Both for escape and self defense. Rest assured the situation will get even uglier than your kids. So strike first but with legal action. Most importantly, DO NOT EXPRESS ANGER towards either your kids or their worthless mom. Sue the bbitches pants off but act concerned and understanding to all associated.

Rose Schowalter · Answer

As a dad it is your responsibility to "man up" and take control of the situation. Do not run from it or else you will be like every other dead beat dad out there that screws their kids lives forever. What kind of example are you setting for your children? Take them outside to play or set up things you can do outside as a family. Looks mean nothing. Your kids are your kids despite what they look like. What you can do though is get your wife and kids off their bums. Kids will always tease each other thats life. Dont feel like you are advising your wife in the development of your children, instead make the move and make things happen. Bodttom line, my friend, is dreams are not handed to you. If you want your family to be a certain way you can not sit back and hope that they conform.

Rose Schowalter · Answer

No. I mean, sure I have some preferences like I really want a boy (I think because I'm the oldest of three girls) and I'd love my baby to have my dark skin with my man's blue/grey/green/gold eyes (really, they are all those colours) and blonde hair . It would be great if my child was brilliant in every facet of life; academics, the arts, sport. And of course, everyone wants a healthy baby. But I know however my baby ends up looking, how it's intelligence is and whether or not it has an illness, I will love that child for the rest of my life and everything after life. -raa =]

Rose Schowalter · Answer

oooh. ok this one is tough. on the upside, braces and glasses are temporary. the weight is another issue. i think you should sit down with your wife, with no children around and TELL her things need to change or the kids are going to struggle with this the rest of their lives. you really need to get her on board. once she agrees that changes need to be made, sit the rest of the family down and let them know whats going to happen. start taking family walks together, every day, invest in healthy living cookbooks, make them WORK for computer/tv time. if your wife is unwilling to get on board, she may be subconsciously sabotaging the relationship. when one spouse is truly serious about something that only good can come of, and the other remains defiant, that is usually a flag. im sorry about your situation, i think that divorce should be the absolute last resort though. divorce just because you are not happy with your current situation is very selfish. try everything else under the sun first. then you know that you put your ALL into it. good luck.

Rose Schowalter · Answer

Be a good example, first of all. If you are overweight yourself - go outside, do some regular jogging. Your sun is only 9, he is not a lost cause just yet and most likely may take after you. Your wife and daughter, that may be a lot more complicated. I think you should start with yourself, first. It sounds like you blaming them in everything bad that happened in your family. Change yourself first, then work on changing your family. They are YOURS, nobody else s, especially the children. You and your wife, you both need to think more seriously about beings PARENTS, and not just live with your children as if they were your roommates.

Rose Schowalter · Answer

You're talking about your own kids like that?Dude, I'm sure they don't think of you any better than you think of them. When you become a dad things change, and that means being a father, if your kids are overweight then you need to get your lazy вυŧŧ up, and help them out, and stop whining.I'm sure, if you left them you wouldn't find another women that considers you attractive. You're probably just an old unattractive man, and your kids are 9, and 10 do you expect them to look like supermodels?

Rose Schowalter · Answer

first get the devil of ur back cause those are evil thoughts cleanse urselfsecond get ur kids into some type of out side hobby they are gonna like even if they really r too lazy to do it take them there anyway put ur foot downcollect the games block lifetime and the cartoons stop buying the junk food take control of ur home. ur kids are in a phase its not their faults my brother is older than i and still lives with my mom at 38 and runs home from work to play video games his ankles were swollen the other day. they need to get some fresh air so u dig deep and use ur mind and remember get that damn devil out of ur head and ur house stay positive GOD LOVES U AND UR FAMILY

Rose Schowalter · Answer

I have a four year old girl and a two year old boy. I feel your pain. If you don't have support from your wife about childrearing issues, it's going to be tough. But you have to get them out there and get them involved in the world. I take mine camping, offroading, to the pool, to the parks, every chance I get. What are you feeding them? Their eating habits will mirror yours. Get rid of all the ѕнι𝓉e in the house and get some fresh veggies and fruits in there. Cereals, grains, rice, etc. Get 'em out in the fresh air and make them bike or run or hike. Find some mountains or other natural areas to explore. Get rid of the TV's and video games. My .02. Good luck.

Rose Schowalter · Answer

brutally honest predicament. With that being said, I will be brutally honest with you.. As long as you stand by and let your children not be active and let them be unhealthy etc... then you are as much to blame as your "annoying" wife. This is child abuse and you are to blame if you cannot stand up to your wife and put her in her place. Theses children are exactly one half of you..imagine, if you feel or think this way about them then what do you think the chances are that they feel the same about themselves? This is terribly sad. Find the beauty in your children... not everyone is aesthetically beautiful but there is beauty in everyone. YOU are in charge of YOU! Make things happen! Do not cower.

Mr. Bertha Ziemann IV

My children have severe appearance deficits and I feel trapped, what are my options?

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